


moongazing

by Manyobsessions



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 23:26:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5352317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manyobsessions/pseuds/Manyobsessions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 3:28 a.m and Patrick, you're the moon.</p><p>Based off 2 tumblr prompts: letters to the moon, and 3:28</p>
            </blockquote>





	moongazing

We were lying down, grass stains seeping into our shirts, dew spreading across our faces in the September post-midnight.

3:28 a.m. 

The moon was huge and white, curving across the dark, reaching across the sky, smiling a kind of dizzy smile. The stars looked like champagne bubbles- the kind you get in your stomach when the rain is warm and a boy smiles at you. The trees spread a blanket across the land, a dark heavy veil against the light moon. The grinning moon watching us.

"Why did you call me?" You asked. I didn't answer. I never did. Maybe I didn't have an answer, maybe it was just a reflex, maybe I just didn't want to tell you.

3:29 a.m.

You rolled away from me and stood up, rubbing your hand across your face, over your feather-soft hair. I focussed on the trees, twisting my brain and eyelids so that the horizon blurred, sharpened, blurred again, sharpened again... I closed my eyes. Corpses are blind, and I'm a corpse.

"Why are you lying on the grass?"

"Why were you?" You laughed, and I had never heard anything that clashed so horribly with my mood before. I opened my eyes to see your smile anyway.

The moonlight painted you in a cool monochrome- eyes grey, hair white, hands shoved into dark pockets. You shone like the moon itself. A second-hand light source, reflecting everything bright back to me, creating your own spotlight, outshining the sun. Because the sun is unimpressive. Anything can be bright in the daytime, but the moon is brave. It's enveloped in unwavering darkness for lightyears around it, and it still has the courage to shine.

Patrick, you're the moon.

And I'm the sun, with one critical difference- the world would keep going if I stopped existing.

"What if I just disappeared?"

"You thinking of running away or something?"

"Something like that," I wondered if you would be able to shine if I left. Astrologically, it should be impossible, but if I forget about my shitty metaphors, physics doesn't come into it at all.

"Come on, it's not so bad."

"No..." Just bad enough.

3:30 a.m.

You shifted your weight, sighing, and sat back down on the grass. I closed my eyes again. 

"Come on, Pete. Let's stargaze."

"I prefer the moon."

"Let's moongaze then."

We moongazed.

3:31 a.m.

"Hey, Pete?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not really thinking of running away are you?"

I thought for a long time, keeping my eyes closed against the moon, the blurring trees, the stars, the chaos and the calm of nighttime.

I was never planning on running away, but I was never planning on telling you my plan.

3:32 a.m.

"Not really-"

"Good."

"-In the sense that running away is more of a metaphor. I never wanted to run away. Too much trouble." I sighed. "I want to disappear in an effortless way. Like closing my eyes, or slipping under the horizon, or simply staying in one place while the world turns around me, or floating, or lying outside at 3:30 in the morning, or-"

"Downing a packet of pills?" I felt something tug in my stomach, some muscle clench around terror. I should probably have reacted, shown some kind of emotion externally, but I didn't have enough energy for facial constructions. I didn't have enough energy for a lot of things anymore. "I know." I didn't know if you meant you knew I felt like this, or you knew how it felt. Both possibilities scared me shitless.

3:33 a.m.

"Pete?"

"Yeah?"

"You mean a lot to me."

"Thanks. You mean a lot to me, too." It was a painful understatement.

3:34 a.m.

"Pete, look at the stars." You sounded so soft, gentle, bright, that I couldn't say no. I opened my eyes and you looked at me. There were constellations in your eyes and they were smiling. "Pete, you remind me of stars."

I raised an eyebrow at your ridiculous metaphor. I wasn't stars.

"You give off light." You said simply. "And, apparently, you're scattered all over the place. Loads of different parts- pieces, of you. All giving off light, but not quite together." You took a deep breath that I didn't understand. "But you're still beautiful."

I blinked.

"And you're the moon."

3:35 a.m.

You turned from my face to the moon. "You think I'm the whitest object in the solar system?"

And then we were laughing in the way you can only laugh when it's three thirty five a.m. My vision stopped blurring and my face split into a grin the size of the moon, and you probably didn't realise, never will realise, that it's all thanks to you. I reached across the grass, tangling my fingers loosely with your's, grinning into the expanse of space (endless, impossible, metaphorical space).

"That too." I turned to look at you. "But you're also brave. You shine, even though you're always surrounded by the dark. You reflect light from the sun back at the sun, and make it realise that it does something good. I don't know, man, I just think you're the best." I ran the pad of my thumb against one of your knuckles. "But you are so white."

3:36 a.m.

And then you kissed me, and no astrology or metaphor mattered anymore, because everything I needed, everything I wanted, was right here on earth. In this dew soaked, moonlit moment.

Patrick, you're the moon. And I guess I'm the stars.

And we'll live here on earth, until we find a way to slip under the horizon together and translate our shitty metaphors into reality, and live forever in endless, impossible, metaphorical space.

Moon and Stars, eternally together.

**Author's Note:**

> just a way-too-metaphorical piece of shit I needed to get out of my system. nice. also completely un-proofread so sorry about that.


End file.
